When Fear Stops You From Succeeding

Years ago I went to the funeral of a young man, and the theme of the sermon was ‘full of potential’. It has stuck with me all these many years later. It has also helped me when I’m fearful of something or fear that I will not be able to do something.

I dread failing so I used to not even make an attempt if I felt I could fail. After that funeral, I completely changed my mind set. I know I have so much to accomplish and so much I want to do – I am determined not to be stopped by fear.

Some of the steps I’ve taken on my way to conquering this dread of failure include:

Reading up about people who have been mega-successful in their lives but have encountered failure and defeat along the way.  Since 2006, Chris Gardner of the Pursuit of Happyness fame has been a hero of mine. As a young adult, I received a list of Abraham Lincoln’s failures and it gave me courage. Being a Librarian and over-all cyber-snoop I eventually checked out the veracity of this list. While much of it is inaccurate there is enough truth in there to keep me strong and resolute.

My parents always advocated that we (their children) not use the words ‘we can’t’. They always encouraged us – telling us we can do whatever we wanted to.  Growing up in Jamaica, I held on to our National Hero, Marcus Garvey’s words, “Up, up, you mighty race, you can accomplish what you will.”

I was petrified of public speaking, so I joined the Junior Chamber Movement and sought a number of elected offices – winning all those I went after. This increased my confidence and gave me ample opportunities to speak in public.

Last, but by no means least, are the numerous everyday people who have touched my life along the way. My brother, Henry, is my hero. He has beaten the odds in numerous ways and been quite successful in his life and business.

Failure is a part of life, but being afraid of failure is the problem. We may fall, but it is in falling that we rise again to do better after each stumble. If babies were afraid of falling they would never learn to walk.

As I was writing this blog, I heard my husband Owen and my son Jalen in discussion. Jalen was playing a video game and constantly asking his father to play parts for him because ‘I can’t do it, dad.” Well, after a few times, Owen told him no, if he didn’t try he would never win. Just as I’m wondering how to close this blog post, I heard Jalen cry out, “I did it, I beat Onaga – I’m the CHAMPION!!!”