Staying When Abused: Chris Brown & Rihanna Story

OK, I know that everyone will have something to say about Rihanna and Chris Brown getting back together. I also figure based on comments around me that many people feel that she should never have gotten back with him. But everyone has to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. The funniest or maybe it's the saddest part is that the mob saying she's a fool are people I know have remained with abusive spouses.

Apart from the fact that they are young and in love, if rumors on the Internet are true, she is also pregnant with his child. Being pregnant and alone is a scary prospect, and emotions are all over the place. I agree that children shouldn't be brought up in abusive homes. No one knows for sure if theirs is an abusive relationship, or if this was a first time occurrence.

So the bigger question we need to ask is, was the beating the first or is it just the worst in a long line of incidents. One off physical, emotional or verbal abuse is bad, but can be overlooked based on what triggered it (yes, I know many person are going to disagree with me). I say this because I know cases where one incident of abuse was never repeated. Repeated physical abuse may be another ball game altogether – but again, despite what we think, each person (male or female) should be able to know when to get help or RUN!!! One person's reality is their own and not anyone else's.

Getting beyond physical abuse and staying together can be hard. I know because I've interviewed and known persons so affected. What worked for these couples was counseling for both persons, and sometimes children if they are old enough to understand what happened. Also, the abuser must really recognize the problem and want to do something about it. In some cases the relationship was beyond saving and the abused party (male or female) had to leave.

Forgiveness is a virtue, and I figure if the good Lord (for those of us who believe in a higher power) can forgive so much human cruelty, why can't we?. So come on, let's give them a chance to see if they can work things through. Others have done it, maybe they can too. There is a possibility that Chris will never again lay his hands on Rihanna. I think she is wise enough to know that if the abuse continues then she may have no alternative than to walk, and say goodbye.