Can You Ever Have Too Much?

My son and I had a discussion this morning. He said he was disappointed in himself for always wanting more toys when he already had too much. I explained to him that wanting more is natural. Some adults want more money, even if they’ll never be able to use up what they have in their lifetime. He then asked if that is why people have so many clothes even when they can’t wear them all sometimes.

It was an interesting discussion as I told him that people generally want more of some things to feel safe and secure. I explained that some persons who grew up not having enough clothes sometimes end up buying more than they’ll ever wear. There are those who have nice homes but still want bigger ones even though what they have is enough for their needs.

I actually stopped to seriously take stock of my own life and see if I had enough of anything. While I couldn’t put my finger on anything I had enough of at this point in life, I will always be evaluating. For example do I really need more than five pairs of shoes or more than one dozen pairs of jeans? 

The honest answer is, I don’t know. I want to fit in and feel a sense of accomplishment and like so many others, the more we have the better we seem to feel. For so many of us, it is easy to fall into the habit of defining the quality of our lives by how many material things we possess. 

Interestingly my young man said he plans to give away some more of his toys. He said, Mom I really have more than enough toys and I should give away some to children who don’t have any.” 

As they say a child shall lead them – and this is often so true when I’m talking with Jalen. He makes me see things in many different ways.  So, do you have too much of anything?

Finding Yourself – Second Guessing Our Choices

At various stages in our lives we find ourselves questioning our decisions. Did I choose the right career? Did I marry the right person? Should I have left my old job? Even simple, rather mundane decisions can cause us distress. Should I have colored my hair or should I have cut it off?

One thing is certain, finding yourself is not an age specific concept. At varying stages of our lives we may find ourselves wondering what this life is all about. We wonder where are we going and how we’ll get there. Were all the worries and sacrifices worth it? 

While on the path of self-discovery, it is important to enjoy life’s journey. The worst thing you can do is wasting time worrying about what you haven’t done, and not doing anything to achieve what you want. Guess what – even if you never achieve all that you desire, knowing that you tried can be a source of joy. 

Finding yourself can be challenging, but the process can be helped by trying some of the following:

·         The first step on the road to finding you is to stop being what others want you to be. Trying to please everyone is a surefire way to becoming lost and unhappy with your life. 

·         Make a plan for your life regardless of your age and where you are in life. Have you always wanted to learn to paint? Go ahead, just start. 

·         Find time for you and the things you want to do. Carve out small blocks of time to write or exercise. Even these incremental time periods will make a big difference in how you feel about your life.

·         Let go of past experiences and hurts. Use the past as stepping stones to developing a better you, mentally, emotionally and physically.

There will be dead-ends and wrong turns on this journey. Do not give up; stop, reevaluate and get back on track. When you have reached that point where you have found you, you will be able to help others find themselves based on your own experiences.

Enjoy your life – it’s the only one you have.

The Pain and Pleasures of Decluttering

Over the last few months I’ve, well to be honest, my husband and I have been trying to declutter. You know how easy it is to keep things you really don’t need anymore. Well, we have decided that instead of doing this in stops and starts we need to just get it done in an organized way. The first areas we are working on are his office and my son Jalen’s bedroom.

It’s amazing the amount of things you come across that you had put away until later. We’ve found paid bills dating back years. There are half-finished stories that we have started to write and never completed. We are both avid readers who also love to write. Some stories can be completed and will be kept, but others we will discard.

We’ve found things that made us stop and smile and recall beautiful moments in our lives. A picture taken years ago on a trip to Montego Bay, Jamaica that we thought was lost. There are pictures or notes from loved ones who have passed on. A feeling of grief and pain is the first emotion, and then discussing the happy moments spent with them were precious. Memories to last a lifetime that death can never erase.

 Jalen’s job is to go through his toy box and dispose of old toys and give away the ones he has outgrown. While watching him at work it was surprising to see him take up a baby toy and say, ‘Can I keep this for special memories?’ Just like us, children like to hold on to things that have special meaning.

Organising

While decluttering we are also organizing this time around. This way we will be better able to keep stock of what we have and periodically dispose of as the need arises. We are stocking our novels separately from our nonfiction books. Marketing books will be kept together, and the same will be done for books on writing. Yep, my librarian and indexer training are being put to good use.

We plan on buying a few plastic storage boxes and CD-storage racks to help us make better use of our limited space. There are quite a few duplicate CDs that can be given away, plus lots of floppy discs we can’t access. I guess if they’ve been lying around for years we can well do without whatever secrets they hold.

If I was doing the decluttering all by myself it would be a big chore, but sharing it with my family makes it fun. I’m looking forward to continuing the job next week.

Do You Believe That Dreams Can Give Us a Message?

I strongly believe that sometimes dreams do foretell something to come. Having had these experiences more than once – it’s hard not to believe. I remember knowing about my son in a dream. The latest episode was on Monday, July 10, 2011 when I woke up from a dream where I was quarrelling with my brother Henry. He wanted me to write a eulogy for my dad and I was insisting on a remembrance. As is the norm, whenever someone crosses my mind, or I have certain types of dreams I tend to pray for the parties I thought of or dreamed about.

On Thursday morning of the same week, I again awoke from my dream with my brother agreeing to a remembrance. He wanted to know if I wanted both of us to do a part. I remember telling him that I thought I would be strong enough to do it. Again I prayed for my loved ones.

Interestingly, on the same day at approximately 10:55 a.m. another brother called and asked if I heard that dad was in the hospital. No, I hadn’t heard and asked for details. He had gotten pinned between a bus and a car. After crying and praying and calling each other (he has nine children) we waited for word following the medical examinations. 

Thankfully there were no broken bones or internal bleeding. He’s in a lot of pain and has some difficulty moving around but should recover fully.  We are still amazed that he’s OK for the most part and very happy.

So do you believe that dreams are sometimes messages from a source we are yet to discover? One thing is certain, there is so much about this world in which we live that is still a mystery.